Category: Self Care

Posted on

What I Like About Jesus

I feel like a lot of people misunderstand Jesus and why he came here (to Earth). The Bible has been kind of ruined by stuffy, religious people who get too focused on rules and lose sight of a relationship with God.

Jesus was a radical and, I have to believe, the most confident guy to ever walk the planet. He did not waste time trying to prove himself to anybody, ever. I think of the story of when He was talking to the woman at the well. If you don’t understand the customs of the day this may not seem like a big deal but this woman was a woman with a reputation and she was not allowed to access the well in the cooler morning hours with the women of good reputation; she was also a Samaritan. So, a triple whammy, a woman, a woman with a reputation, and a Samaritan––Jews and Samaritans did not associate, a man typically did not spend time talking to a woman that was not his wife, especially one that had a reputation as an adultress. And yet, when His disciples arrive and ask Him why he’s talking to this woman the Bible makes no reference to Him offering even one explanation as to why He was talking to her. Nothing about what is right or wrong, good or bad about it, the story basically leads to the woman finding salvation and telling everybody she knows about Jesus and His greatness.

This is what I love about Jesus, he is just so BadAss! He does not explain His motives. He does not answer out of compulsion or a need to show others why He is right. He doesn’t break the rules but rather shows us that there is more to life than just following rules. Like when the Pharisees accuse His disciples of “working” on the Sabbath because they are picking grains of wheat to eat when they are very hungry––He shows us that the Sabbath was made for us, not that we were made to follow the Sabbath. Yes, we are to rest but not out of a compulsion to follow the rules. Rather, the Sabbath was made for us to rest and to take time to feed our spirits with time and attention. Jesus shows us that the rules are meant to care for us, not to control us; they are meant to give us our best life. The woman at the well would not have experienced a changed life for the better if Jesus had stuck to following the rules and customs of the day by not associating with a Samaritan woman. The rules are meant for people, not the other way around.

The “rules” carve out a straight and easy path for us to follow be we are meant to be led down that path by The Spirit of our Creator. The rules are meant to make our way smooth so that we can focus on what really matters: our connection to Source that allows us to be in touch with Self, others and our environment. Mmm, my heart feels at peace just thinking about that.

Posted on

I Don’t Get It

I just can’t reconcile it in my mind. I can’t get the logic to line up: Why do so many people seem to be okay with the incredible violations to their rights and freedoms right now?

Why do so many people seem to think it’s ok to force another person to wear a mask over their face, when just a few years ago here in Canada, they were trying to ban burkas and other religious face coverings. Now suddenly everyone is supposed to wear them and just be okay with that? Why aren’t more women questioning this? I honestly wonder. So many women here in the Western world used to be appalled at the lack of freedom and rights of women in the muslim world––having to always be covered in public and yet here they are just willingly submitting to the same thing now.

Why do so many people seem to be willing to subject themselves to a very controversial, experimental injection without even really knowing what’s in it or what are the possible long term effects?

Do people just not understand or realize what they are giving up? Are people too tired to be responsible for themselves and their decisions? Maybe being a virtual robot won’t be so bad? I mean, I don’t want to end my life, but I certainly don’t want to live in a box not being allowed to make any decisions for myself. I want to choose for myself. I want to make my own choices. Why is that even considered a selfish thing? I’m not hurting anyone. I just want to live in peace. I just want to live my life. It seems like these people who are going along with this narrative just want someone else to live their lives.

I don’t have answers this time, I mean, I do, but I don’t. I get it that many people feel too overwhelmed and hopeless and maybe they feel like making decisions for themselves it just too stressful and too much work. Maybe it feels hard because they are scared to make the wrong choice––this to me is more an issue of being out of touch with Self. And yes, I understand that looking at yourself isn’t easy, but it is worth it.

I truly believe if more people were more in touch with their Self; tuned into and listening to the internal wisdom that is innate within all of us; if we could slow down and stop blocking it out with constant distraction and entertainment, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now. I truly believe that, as more people learn who to love and forgive themselves, this world will become a better place.

Until then, I just don’t get it.

Posted on

Sweat

I decided that sweat was what was missing, at this point in time, to help pull me up out of my Funk. This morning I would do a more vigorous workout and listen to some *music that motivates me.

A slight speed-walk/jog to get warmed up, squats, with and without the bar, lunges, without weights for now, jumping-jacks, push-ups and stretches. Ok, maybe it sounds easy, but I’ve been mostly just walking for the last 8 months or so, maybe more. Yeesh! Lazy!

I mean, don’t get me wrong, walking is very beneficial, and some would say better than running which is very hard on your joints. But, it’s also very soft energy, too much time thinking, not enough doing, at least for me. However, in the interest of knowing and honouring myself, I recognize there was a period of time in which that is what I needed; I slowed down and took time. Something I actually had to learn the hard way, as I will eventually explain in a later post.

This morning, after my more vigorous workout, I do feel more motivated. This is even my second post for the day. Which, I need to do because I have quite a few days of slacking with no posts to make up for.

Because of certain things I have learned about myself, through years of observation, (yes, you can observe yourself and I believe one should––don’t just go blindly through life never thinking about what and why you do what you do), and through examination of my LifePrintOS profile, I knew this “sweat” approach would help me. I have a good amount of motivational performance energy in my LifePrint under a High Achiever archetype so I am very goal-oriented.

Walking is a great exercise and it’s calmer softer energy plays to my “Connector” energies in my LifePrint by giving me time alone to connect with myself and move my body while doing so. However, I now knew it was time to get motivation going by tapping into my “Optimizer” energy, the one that likes to get the maximum benefit for the minimum effort. Playing to my goal-oriented High Achiever archetype, I knew I could do this by working up a sweat. In this case, the “sweat” was the goal. And tomorrow morning I’ll know if I hit the other target if I realize it’s hard to sit down––I like knowing I put in a good effort and the sore muscles are confirmation; I said sore muscles, not injuries, let’s be clear. Considering that my legs feel a bit like jelly when I go down the stairs I think there’s a good chance I achieved.

It is very good to have this kind of information from LifePrint because I can use it to my advantage and also look at how certain situations might be a “disadvantage” or rather, I can know where my susceptibilities are and look at how to turn it around by using other energies in my LifePrint to compliment and make up for the perceived disadvantages. And this, of course, lights up my achiever reward centres too because one of my other major “goals” is to know myself. To know what makes me tick, what lights me up, what motivates me, what I need to watch for and how to bolster my susceptibilities.

Time to get the motivation flowing, so for now, I work up a sweat in the mornings, before anyone else gets up. I start the day achieving and it makes way for more achievements.

*There was a period of time when I was running a lot; it doesn’t agree with my body, but I enjoy it SO MUCH! This is a list I made to motivate me through the first 10K race I ever signed up for. The original list was a little different as I have since added and subtracted from it, but this it what keeps my going when I do still occasionally go for a run.

Posted on

In a Funk

This is what I call it when I can’t seem to shake a cloud over me; a lack of motivation. It took me three days to get out the previous post and it was “crap”. I’ve got crap in quotes because it just is what it is. It’s not like it was total crap but I felt I could have done better. Except, I couldn’t because if I could have I would have! That was all that was flowing out of me.

So, I had to examine: what the heck has got me in this funk? (I mean aside from the world being in the whole stupid “pandemic” situation and people ignoring all the good news about masks not really being effective and the PCR tests being unreliable and therefore making lockdowns based on these tests illegal, and of course the survival rate being 99%––How can people not be relieved when they hear this news?? “Oh you mean I don’t have to wear this stupid mask everywhere I go, hide out in my home, never see my friends, and let my grandma die alone in what has basically become her prison? That’s great news! Anyway, I digress.)

I am usually a very motivated person, it takes a lot to get me down. The first thing I look at when I do feel down is: did I get a good sleep last night? Or for the last few nights in a row? I do not do well with no sleep (my husband might say that’s an understatement); feeling tired is maybe literally the only thing that can get me down. If I feel down, the answer to that question is usually, “No, I didn’t.” But, if I know I have been getting to bed early, sleeping enough hours and waking up at a consistent time and I still don’t feel like I can muster the gusto, what’s next? Have I been eating well? Is there something in my diet I should be avoiding for a while? (Yes, coffee, but I’m still enjoying a cup as I write this––even people who are dedicated to their growth have vices… it just smells so good and tastes so yummy!) Where am I at in my cycle? I have noticed that I have better sleep, or lack of sleep, at certain points in my cycle. Have I spent time with God lately? Yes, lots. Prayer? Meditation? Maybe not enough quiet meditation. Am I bored? The truth is I have lots of work to keep me busy, though I do miss seeing lots of people, working with a team, things like that. Anyway, my point is I look at the Funk and ask what is this? and what can I do about it?

Then I remembered, I have not run in a very long time. I really enjoy running but it doesn’t agree with my body, for now. I get up and walk every morning on the treadmill, or sometimes outside with a friend who lives nearby. I realized, however, that what I am missing was the energized feeling that came from more vigorous exercise. (This is where I start to introduce some concepts from LifePrintOS, a system I use in my practice.) I have a High Achiever archetype so I feel best when I accomplish and the “accomplished” feeling that comes from a good workout would not only give me the jumpstart I’m looking for; it’s also a good thing to honour and respect my body by challenging it and giving it what it needs.

That may not seem like a ground-breaking realization, but one of my main tenets is that it is important for one to know oneself. And that is where I’m going with these posts.

Posted on

Haircut

I got my haircut yesterday––yes, I know, I’m a rebel. Or maybe the person who cut my hair is a rebel. Maybe we both are. Personally, I see nothing criminal about getting a haircut, but the way things are going these days, people are being treated like criminals for a heck of a lot less; just for daring to breathe freely while buying groceries, for example.

But anyway, that’s not what this post is about. Because I went and got my bootleg haircut, my eight-year-old daughter wanted one too. And, because you can’t just go out and get a haircut these day, she wanted me to do it.

Aside from the haircut I gave my two-year-old sister when I was four, and maybe the infamous self-directed bangs that seem to be a rite of passage for all teenage girls, I have never cut hair. What I can appreciate here in this situation is my daughters complete confidence in my ability to give her what she wants. I told her I have basically zero experience in cutting hair and that I had to first see if I even still had the pair of old hairstyling shears which, despite the fact that I never cut hair, I do still have. (Ask me where they came from, I couldn’t really tell you; probably my dad because he seems to think it’s important to be prepared for every situation with items that you would rarely use otherwise––thanks Dad!) Nonetheless, none of these minor attempts to discourage the idea that I should be the one to cut her hair deterred my daughter.

I watched a few videos about how to layer hair and how to cut curly hair, etc. I know a thing or two about taking care of curly hair thanks to my own curls, but I never cut my own hair. However, we are in extraordinary circumstances and I’m sure many people have resorted to experimenting with things they never would have otherwise. One of the beautiful things about this is that I am learning that I am capable of so much more than I have given myself credit for.

So I cut the girls hair. I did it. I decided not to go too short so that we’d have room to get it fixed if I totally botched it. But guess what? It turned out very well! If I had a day-job I wouldn’t be quitting it, as the saying goes. But, my daughter trusted me with her look and I did something new because of it. After I cut it, we washed her hair and I showed her how to properly care for curly hair––because up to this point she would just brush it into a frizz. We washed it with special shampoo to clean it up, then washed it with conditioner to help smooth the frizz. I showed her that a more delicate, smooth towel, or even an old t-shirt to squeeze out the excess water will reduce frizz. We put in a special curl cream and then diffused it. I showed her a whole new routine; it was time just for the two of us. And she gets to go back to school with a “new look” after the Christmas break.

Sometimes, being a mom can feel like a thankless job. But moments like this make me realize how much she values me, my input and the little things I can do to care for her. And that is a gift.

Posted on

Social Media

A few weeks ago, I deleted the Facebook app from my phone. I wouldn’t say I was a person who obsessively checked my phone, mostly just at night before going to bed, or to respond to messages. The problem was that the stuff I was reading/seeing was just too “charged”.

I haven’t deleted the Instagram app yet, but I barely check it any more. I just don’t care about the likes. Facebook in particular was starting to have this really “slimy” feel to it. Now that I’ve taken a few steps back from Facebook, it has a totally different feel to it––I feel almost repulsed by it. It’s kind of like when I used to smoke and so the cloud of smoke in the club (a long time ago when indoor smoking was still a thing) and I didn’t really notice the smell of it on my clothes, until I didn’t smoke anymore. Now I realize how gross it smells.

I have had SO MUCH more peace in my life since I got rid of that app. I haven’t completely dismantled my online profile yet, (though I intend to as I do not wish to be complicit in the censorship taking place on the bigger platforms that seem to think it’s okay to tell everyone what to think). But, wow, what a difference it makes to not be fed the fear-mongering on a daily basis. And that’s what it’s called, a social media “feed”, interesting. What is nourishing you?

It feels like I’ve broken through chains. Isn’t it amazing that your thought life and what you are feeding your spirit and soul can have such an effect on your outlook and mindset?

I have gone back to reading more books again, actual books, like the kind made of paper. There really is a difference–I suspect the blue light effect has something to do with that, too. I have been listening to more podcasts and faith-boosting teachings. I feel stronger mentally and spiritually, and I have more energy too. It just feels like I can breathe again.

Posted on

Yesterday

I managed to go to sleep exhausted yesterday without writing the second post of my 100-day commitment, so today I will write two.

I used to hate making mistakes, even though I made a lot of them. I would beat myself up, telling myself I should have done better, done more, gotten it right, I should have known better etc. So, even up until not too long ago, missing a day on a 100-day commitment would have really gotten to me. Now I see it as an opportunity to write about this. To write about the choice I have to be kind to myself.

In fact, yesterday could have been a lot better. I could have accomplished a lot more. It was one of those days where my rhythm was just off. A day that could have been really productive just wasn’t. Or maybe it was and I just didn’t feel it. But that’s just it; I recognized it as one of those days. I had not had much sleep the night before, so I knew that lack of sleep was throwing me off.

I am very goal-oriented so I feel best when I’m accomplishing. Right now, even though I’m working on a lot of things, my main priority is running a household and being a mom to young kids that still require a lot of attention. So, what “accomplishment” looks like has to be a lot more flexible for me these days.

Yesterday, one of my kids stayed home from school. Yesterday, my biggest accomplishments were finding a deal on a giant carpet for my basement and then moving all the furniture out of the way for it to be installed today. Yesterday I encouraged, and was encouraged by, a friend. Yesterday I got in and out of the grocery store with two kids and no issues in less than 10 minutes. Yesterday I made a delicious meal for my family and managed to go to sleep earlier, (even if it was because I forgot to do my daily post!). Yesterday was not a write off, it was preparation for today.

Posted on

Habits

Yes! I’m lifting weights again! This is something I really enjoy but took a 4+ month hiatus from due to a severe case of West Nile virus this past summer. It was 19 weeks plus a day, actually, from my last workout with weights before falling ill and beginning a long recovery to feeling really up to the physical challenge of lifting weights again.

The desire to resume my weight lifting activity was there, for sure, but my health care provider told me even getting a massage would be too hard on my body. And honestly, when I really thought about it I knew my body was too physically exhausted to even think seriously about doing it. It was a good month before I could even resume a daily 20-minute walk, but as soon as I was able I committed to doing it. Every day. Again.

At the beginning of 2018 I decided that it was time to make my physical health a priority again. My youngest was then about 15 months old so I had a little more freedom to establish a routine. I committed to getting up early and exercising before the kids woke up. There were days when I was so tired, or didn’t wake up in time to complete a whole workout but I told myself that even on those days I would at least put on my workout clothes and go down to the treadmill and do at least five minutes. There were some days when I would hear the kids stirring before I could even begin my workout, but I still put on the workout clothes; it was the habit I was building, and let’s face it, it’s a heck of a lot easier to feel like working out if you’re not in your pyjamas!

That February, I also added meditation to my routine, my workout is always followed by a 16-minute meditation. In fact, my meditation now trumps my physical workout, meaning that if I’m running short on time, I reduce my physical activity to accommodate my meditation time–it has given me so much calm and mental clarity in my life, among other things, that it’s just not worth missing it, but this rarely happens.

I found that it was easier to maintain these habits if I didn’t skip weekends so my 5-day per week routine quickly became a very gratifying everyday routine. There were definitely days when I just wanted to be lazy but I also knew how much my body would thank me and how good it would feel once the workout was done and that reasoning always won. I also knew how easy it would be for one day of rest to turn into two and then three…

Then, on August long weekend I got really sick and all that had to pause for the long recovery. This past Sunday I picked up the weights again for the first time since that weekend and it felt great! Just some squats with the bar and some lunges using free weights. I knew I had to ease into this again, but I also really wanted that satisfying sore muscle feeling after a good workout, like, I want sitting down in a chair to feel like hard work, lol. Let me be clear, though, this is not about pushing my body beyond what it is capable of to the point of injury–I would not suggest that to anybody. I’m also convinced that having built these healthy habits into my life played a big part in allowing me to recover so quickly from that West Nile setback.

I did the same thing again on Tuesday and added some abdominal, pectoral, bicep and tricep stuff, just a quick whole body routine to get everything going again. I wanted to do the same thing again on Thursday but had come down with a bad cold and knew better than to push my body into something it wasn’t up for. Today, (Saturday), I was able to do a quick run to warm up, a total body weight routine, my meditation and BodyTalk Access routine and it feels so good! My body thanks me.

I will continue to ease back into the weights, building up that habit slowly, but surely. After all, that is the only way to build habits, one day at a time, one choice at a time.

 

Posted on

So… Let’s Talk About Fasting

The first time I consciously fasted was when we lost a family member to esophageal cancer. I really didn’t know much about fasting then, but what I knew is that a family member became very ill and lost a lot of weight because she could barely eat anymore. Something in me wanted to honour this; I felt like it was somehow giving a voice to those who cannot speak for themselves; a way to empathize with those who are suffering. That was ten years ago.

Over the last three years I have educated myself about the benefits of fasting and about some of the “whys” that we do it. While I understand most of the basic science about it, what intrigues me most is the mental/emotional work we go through as we do it.

In 2015, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I was told by the specialist that I would be on medication for the rest of my life and that there was really nothing else I could do about it–that diet didn’t have anything to do with it. However, being that my colon is part of my digestive tract, something about this really didn’t sit right with me. I went to see a trusted herbalist and under her care I tackled this thing from a holistic perspective. Part of the way we were dealing with this was for me to give up two very basic ingredients for a brief period of time. (I am not going to list those two things, because not everyone is the same and I don’t believe that we can all heal with the same one-size fits-all solution.) The specialist agreed to let me try things the natural way and a follow-up was scheduled for 4 months down the road.

While I was not fasting entirely, what I was doing was giving up some things that, until then, had been an everyday part of my life. And I was doing this totally in faith that it would have some kind of positive effect on the state of my health. Because I knew that, if left untreated, the colitis could eventually  result in me having part of my colon removed, (or worse), the thought of giving up a few types of foods was not even a question. I didn’t want to end up in a position where I was out of commission and my young family couldn’t rely on me. Giving up certain foods was an easy decision.

However, there were days when thoughts would come, “what if this doesn’t work?” “What if all this is for nothing?” I am happy to say that everything turned out really well.  And there began my journey of really exploring my relationship with food.

I just came off an extended fast; I lasted 65 hours. My intention was to go for five days, but ultimately I gave in to some organic corn chips and homemade salsa. Now, I’m making light of this a little bit, but I am really careful not to be too hard on myself, not to be unforgiving because I think that would defeat the purpose. When I’m fasting, I become really aware and intentional. Mindfulness is really important. How easy is it to just pop something into your mouth without thinking while making lunch for the kids or preparing a meal for others? And then, preparing a meal for others really becomes an act of service, a demonstration of love and devotion to those who are dependent on you. Fasting causes me to ask myself WHY I want to eat something instead of just mindlessly snacking here and there as I go about my day. Fasting makes me more aware of my habits and reasons for eating. And more grateful for what I have.

My relationship with food has changed somewhat this year. I came down with a serious case of West Nile virus this past summer, which, among other things, seems to have changed the way some of my favourite foods taste to me. Sometimes, I still eat those things, like chocolate, and when I don’t enjoy it as much, I ask myself, “why did I just eat that? I knew it wasn’t going to taste as amazing as it once did to me, so why am I still eating it?” I don’t necessarily have the answers to these types of questions, but I think asking them is important.

I REALLY enjoy food, I mean, A LOT! But what I enjoy even more, is learning about myself and what I am capable of. For me, fasting is never about weight-loss (though I am not knocking it as part of an informed solution if you choose to go that route; intermittent fasting can be very effective, if done consciously). For me, it’s about exploring my strengths and weaknesses, and continuing to develop discipline, patience, and gratitude. And ultimately, it’s about getting to know myself.

#KnowyourselfLoveyourselfBeyourself

 

Posted on

I LOVE my Body!

I LOVE my body! I was going to say something like, “It’s not perfect, but I love it.”  But the truth is, it is perfect. It’s exactly what I need, it’s part of me, I love it and it’s mine.

I’m not talking about looking in the mirror and admiring my body (though I do that) and thinking that every part of me looks exactly the way I want it to. Instead, I’m talking about loving my body where love is a verb. I spend time moving my body through exercise, calming my mind through meditation and practicing energy medicine every single day. I eat foods that I love, (and yes, that includes candy and chips, etc!), I wear what makes me feel comfortable and beautiful. I do all these things not because I think they are things I should do but because I want my body to know that I love and value it. And because of these things I can look in the mirror and say, “I love my body!”

I flex my muscles, I put my hands on my hips, I smile at myself and tell myself I am fabulous, beautiful and made for greatness… when I feel like it and even when I don’t. And in those moments, when it’s more talk than feeling, my body gives me a hug and says, “I love you too.”

#KnowyourselfLoveyourselfBeyourself