Month: December 2020

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Yesterday

I managed to go to sleep exhausted yesterday without writing the second post of my 100-day commitment, so today I will write two.

I used to hate making mistakes, even though I made a lot of them. I would beat myself up, telling myself I should have done better, done more, gotten it right, I should have known better etc. So, even up until not too long ago, missing a day on a 100-day commitment would have really gotten to me. Now I see it as an opportunity to write about this. To write about the choice I have to be kind to myself.

In fact, yesterday could have been a lot better. I could have accomplished a lot more. It was one of those days where my rhythm was just off. A day that could have been really productive just wasn’t. Or maybe it was and I just didn’t feel it. But that’s just it; I recognized it as one of those days. I had not had much sleep the night before, so I knew that lack of sleep was throwing me off.

I am very goal-oriented so I feel best when I’m accomplishing. Right now, even though I’m working on a lot of things, my main priority is running a household and being a mom to young kids that still require a lot of attention. So, what “accomplishment” looks like has to be a lot more flexible for me these days.

Yesterday, one of my kids stayed home from school. Yesterday, my biggest accomplishments were finding a deal on a giant carpet for my basement and then moving all the furniture out of the way for it to be installed today. Yesterday I encouraged, and was encouraged by, a friend. Yesterday I got in and out of the grocery store with two kids and no issues in less than 10 minutes. Yesterday I made a delicious meal for my family and managed to go to sleep earlier, (even if it was because I forgot to do my daily post!). Yesterday was not a write off, it was preparation for today.

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100 Days

I’m supposed to be writing a short book, my story, but I seem to be suffering from a little writer’s block in that area. So, I’ve decided to commit to writing a blog post everyday for 100 days. What’s that old saying? How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. (Not that I would eat an elephant… maybe if I was starving and it was the only thing around. Though I probably wouldn’t be able to hunt it if I was at the point of being so hungry I felt I’d need to eat an elephant in the first place… where was I?)

Ah yes, 100 days of writing. What should I even write about? Does anyone even want to read about what I have to say? Maybe not, but I think it’s writing about it that’s actually important for me–even if no one else ever reads it. I need a place to put the million thoughts that fly around in my head everyday. So, that’s what this will be, 100 days of sifting through all of it.

Partially, too, it’s an exercise in commitment. I know there is a certain element of freedom and awakening of energy that will come from getting my story down in writing, but I can’t seem to make myself sit down and start doing it. These are the baby bites that maybe need to come first.

One down, 99 to go.

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Church 2.0

I am so proud of my church! Way to go! This feels more like what I have been waiting for during the whole “pandemic”*. Not backing down when they want to shut down drive-in churches. And man was I proud of my pastor when he called out the fear-mongering media!

I had a moment about a month or so ago, when I had gone into my church and things just didn’t feel the same. I was alone, as my husband wasn’t able to come with me that day. My kids were in classes, all distanced in a giant gymnasium, (not signing songs, playing games and making crafts together in their regular classrooms). And, there was a real absence of all the bright, beautiful colours and sounds of all the families greeting each other with big smiles. Actually, there was an absence of smiles in general. So, hence my first article about Church. But I get it, it was not the church’s fault that I felt that way, they are doing the best they can–and it’s a lot! Also, I don’t always feel that way–I had a moment and I wrote about it.

To be clear, my church has been doing amazing things all throughout the “pandemic”. They opened up their cafes and playgrounds all throughout the summer and I would take my kids there often and even meet up with friends or have date nights with my hubby sometimes. I remember the first time they opened their cafe in the spring, it had probably been about 2 months since my kids had been anywhere and I almost cried (tears of joy) when I walked through the doors to get my coffee while the kids played in the playground. Sometimes, as an introvert, I forget how much I need other people and places.

I am really relieved to see our church making a stand. And I am even more happy about all the many people who maybe aren’t regular church-goers but who are coming out to support the church because they recognize the threat to rights and freedoms that is becoming more and more evident these days.

I realize that some people are against the drive-in church concept simply because they are against church, or they are against God/Jesus. They don’t realize that Jesus was a radical who stood for everybody’s freedom, even the people who wouldn’t accept him. He thought our freedom was so important he was willing to die for it. He was so into freedom that even death could not restrain him. Talk about being sold out for a cause.

(Yes, I said “pandemic”, I’m one of those. Insert eyeroll if you feel like it. This is my blog so I’ll write what’s on my mind, understanding that my views do not necessarily represent the views of my clients or anyone else for that matter because we are all INDIVIDUALS!)